Well well well it’s been a bit since I have posted. Sometimes life gets in the way. I have been working a crazy amount but I am happy with where things are in my life.
However when I went back to New York for thanksgiving I woke up on thanksgiving morning to the room spinning, and no I was not hungover. So I tried to just go with the flow and hoped it would go away. But sadly that was not to be. So once I got back home I went to my PCP. They said it might be vertigo and sent me to an ENT. I was pulled out of work and went to the ENT thinking they would send me to PT to have the crystals knocked back into place and my life would go back to normal.
The ENT while asking me questions quickly realized this was not just vertigo. In fact vertigo was just one symptom I was having, I also had ear pain, ringing in my ear and fullness in my ears. They had me get a hearing test, CT scan, MRI and VNG (aka balance test). My hearing test showed a very minor amount of hearing loss but my MRI and CT scan were clear. But my VNG test showed a massive amount of damage to my left ear balance system, the doctor described my issue as a plane that was trying to fly with only one wing/engine. She said my balance system on the left would probably never come back but she also said she was impressed with how well I was coping given the damage.
So I was told they think I have Ménière’s disease. It’s an autoimmune disease that attacks the inner ear. I may eventually lose some or all of my hearing and I will deal with crippling bouts of vertigo at times, the ringing and ear pain will also remain. I was terrified to get this news. I came home and cried my eyes out. I didn’t want my life to change. I wanted to go back to “normal”. But over the next week or so I came to realize while I won’t go back to “normal” ever again I can get to a new normal. I can learn to cope and live my life with as much as happiness and joy as before. I have always over come challenges, many of my own making in the past but this was just another challenge and one I can certainly over come. Life is short, scary, terrifying and beautiful all at the same time. This won’t change that, it will just change my outlook and force me to take better care of myself.
I know I am lucky. I have amazing friends and family all willing to help and support me. I have a great job that actually cares about me and not just as employee but as a person. My job gives me health coverage that makes dealing with all this easier. So I know I will be ok. I know I will get used to my new normal and be just as happy as before. So here’s to 2016 and making it another great year.
So proud of you.
Thanks mom. You raised me to believe in myself. I am proud to be your daughter.
I have confidence that you will adapt and thrive with this new normal!